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Saturday, December 22, 2012

Festivus miracles


It is the season of miracles, and we seem to be experiencing quite our fair share here. But before I qualify that statement let me say this: Georgia is exceptionally strong-willed. Hard-headed. Hard-nosed. And, yes, somewhat self-centered. She doesn't usually stray much from these adjectives, but she can also have fleeting moments of compassion, empathy, sympathy and understanding. Compromise sometimes finds a way in as well. This is Georgia pretty much all year long. Just because it's the Christmas season doesn't mean she suddenly starts behaving like a good little child, wary of incurring Santa's wrath. I'm afraid my children just missed the whole "Elf on the Shelf" phenomenon as a means to securing their sainthood, and I can't say I am sorry. Frankly that elf idea terrifies me more than the thought of Santa tallying up a rap sheet on me. No, the notion of Santa keeping tabs on her all year has never really had an effect on Georgia's attitude, nor her sisters for that matter!

                                               
This year, however, seems to have brought about a preternatural change in Georgia. Oh, sure, she displays all of the qualities I listed above, but despite those ever-present endearing characteristics, she has been exhibiting  some wondrous, and astonishing behaviors. First and foremost is the way she expressed her thoughts on the shooting rampage in Newtown. She wasn't just matter-of-fact about it, simply stating (and re-stating) to me what happened. Instead she said to me "It so sad. Those poor li'l kids. They had their whole life to live." She sat and watched some of the news reports too. In fact she's been coming around to sit on the couch with the rest of the family to watch other shows and movies. This is a rare occurrence. I really can't say how much that can be attributed to the tragedy in Connecticut, but I do wonder if she's feeling somewhat vulnerable, and the way she is able to express it is to simply sit with her family.


And as for those other miracles? These next two involve math homework. It's a nightly nightmare. Some nights are more terrifying than others, but usually it's a big serving of stress all around. One night last week Georgia was so worked up over it, she stomped off to her room sobbing uncontrollably. She calmed down a tad, then reemerged, but with a hiccoughing sob. Middle sister Maggie was sitting at the kitchen counter, turned to her and said "It's OK, Geosie. Do you need a hug?" Geosie (Maggie is the ONLY one who can get away with that nickname) went to Maggie and let her hug, pat her back (!) and coo that she would be fine. A few days later we were finishing up watching something on TV when Georgia decided it was time to start her math homework. (She waits for Brad to help her, and sometimes it gets kind of late!) Her usual M.O. is to start whining to Brad that "it's time", and when they sit down to start she instantly yells "I DON'T REMEMBER HOW TO DO IT!" Instead she quietly got her binder out, opened it up, and started solving the problems on her own. I could hear her talking herself through the steps.


About a week and a half ago Brad and I were gone all day and evening attending a funeral two states away. (My best friend from college lost her 93 year old Cajun grandma. Tough woman, but so sweet to me! And FYI: Cajuns throw damn good funeral parties!) We left Maggie in charge of helping Georgia with some homework, and fixing supper. That afternoon Georgia went to get Maggie for homework help, and found her asleep. Instead of getting upset, she made hot cocoa and brought it up to her room to help wake her up. When supper time rolled around, Georgia agreed to eat sushi rice, and try miso soup. I could fill three more pages with exclamations about that stunning phenomenon.


So now we find ourselves at what could possibly be the biggest marvel of the season: I retrieved Eldest Sister Emily from college on Monday. Before we'd even set down a suitcase Georgia was running at her, waving an invitation in her face, excitedly asking if she would like to go to the resource room Christmas party the next day. (I had to work, so couldn't go) To her great credit Emily immediately, and enthusiastically, said "YES!" Now, you must understand that historically these two have not gotten along as well as Maggie and Georgia. But the last few years have brought more maturity and insight to Emily in dealing with her littlest sister, and it's beginning to pay off. When Emily walked through the classroom door the next afternoon she reports that Georgia jumped up to hug her. They had sustained conversations! Georgia was very pleased, and proud, to have her sister there.

Jaw-dropping, yet heart-warming moments! I can only hope the new year brings more of those, and that we haven't actually been living in some sort of dream state. Don't anyone pinch me, though, just in case!



Monday, December 10, 2012

Speak for yourself!




  Georgia may be getting out of mic work today simply because I cannot string more than three words together without coughing up my spleen. I'm considering making up a turban soaked in Vicks VapoRub and wearing it EVERYWHERE until after flu season. I'd be like Professor Quirrell walking around with a smelly Voldemort on my head, only hopefully the VapoRub wouldn't be hissing orders at me to kill Harry Potter. After a few months of donning my odiferous headgear though, I imagine someone might want to do ME in!



  And speaking of things that don't smell quite right, I have only recently been made aware of some information that Autism Speaks isn't exactly the organization I believed it to be. (Shout-out to PDDWorld/Moms!) Now, this blog was never intended to be used as a forum for promoting, or bashing, any particular agency or therapy that might believe itself doing good deeds to further autism awareness, or improve the lives of those on the spectrum. But A.S. evidently has only just begun using the term "awareness", having been founded on the premise of "curing" autism by funding a ton of research to that end. They seem to be trying hard now to cover their tracks, as the autism community at large has called them on it. As I've seen on the Autism Self Advocacy Network site, ("Nothing about us, without us" http://autisticadvocacy.org/ ), it's not a cure they want, but acceptance. Being autistic is being themselves. This was echoed in an old NPR interview I dug up where a young man on the spectrum said "What the rest of the world needs to know about autism is that it's not something that can be separated out from the person, it's part of the person. And so you cannot meaningfully say I love my child, but I hate the autism. That's like saying I love my child, but I hate that she's a girl and I'd like her to be a boy instead." When asked if there were a cure for autism, would he take it, he answered "No. Never will. I love the way my brain works."


  On the A.S. site under "initiatives" they state "...In fact, many experts agree that a collaborative approach to autism research is the only way science will solve the mysteries of this devastating disorder." The definition of "devastating": 1) highly destructive or damaging. 2) causing severe shock, distress, or grief. The synonyms are destructive, and ruinous. You can see why someone on the spectrum might take exception to the A.S. approach. Now, the man in the NPR interview did state that he knows his life would be "easier without his Asperger's. He would understand social cues. He would get along better in work and everyday interactions." But he's "come to like being autistic. He even celebrates it." I know there are parents out there who might have felt shock, distress, or grief at first hearing a diagnosis of autism, but that doesn't mean the child's life, or the family unit ends in a ruinous state. For me the diagnosis was just validation, and then it was time to keep seeking out therapies which could help Georgia unlock all of her potential. I am not a shout-in-the-streets activist. I just quietly go about my business. So if Autism Speaks is shouting for a cure for autism, I will shout back in the form of not funding their research.


   A friend of mine with an Aspie son told me "You know the saying, 'If you've met one kid with autism, you've met one kid with autism.'" I do not claim to know all there is to know about autism, or every intricate detail of every advocacy group. I've done enough research to know that I don't know half of what's out there! What I do know is my child. I do know that, even though I want to help her overcome her learning problems, I do not want to help her overcome who she is at her core. She's silly, and goofy, and funny. She talks incessantly, (and obsessively!) on the way home from school. But sometimes she says the most amazing things! Yeah, sometimes she's a pain-in-the-ass, (Yep. I said it out loud.), but I usually put most of that down to being a teenager. The autism thing I can handle. This teen thing? OY VEY.

                                                                                 

                                                                         
                                                                     
                                                                       



Sunday, December 2, 2012

Wheeling and dealing

 
   I've gotten fairly adept at cutting deals with Georgia for just about anything. And she's picked up my talent for it pretty well. I'm hoping the devil isn't keeping tabs, as I would not enjoy being offered a training position in his fiery corporation. Besides, I know quite a number of people who would be way better suited for the job than me. And anyway, I abhor that kind of heat! Yes, I am aware that I live in the deep South, but contrary to popular belief, it is not *typically* hotter-than-hell here. Well, with the exception of the month of August.

   Thursday afternoon I made a deal with Georgia that we could skip mic work, if she promised to make up for it on Sunday. After all, I was anxious to meet up with my LWDC peeps later (Liberal Women's Drinking Club. Whether you're a liberal, or you just drink that way, we welcome you!), I'd had a really long, tiring day of wrangling second graders, and frankly still had a cough and sore throat.(Have I mentioned I'm also good at rationalizing just about anything?) Geo hemmed a bit, then agreed, and we shook on it- but with a dangerously impish twinkle in her eyes. I said "You think I'm gonna forget by Sunday, don't you?!" I don't know how or why, but somewhere along the way I've managed to instill in my children the concrete certainty that Mommy will always forget things she is supposed to remember. Important things. They are convinced that I will forget to show up to retrieve them from school, or sign an important life-or-death form, or - heaven forbid- WASH THEIR SCHOOL CLOTHES. I honestly can't recall an event that would have imprinted this fear so indelibly on their little brains, and so I've decided to just blame it on my father-in-law, who actually DID forget to pick them up from school one time. Not my fault!          

   You will be relieved to know that I did not forget our Pact Of Procrastination! After letting Georgia have an entire morning of uninterrupted screen-time, I called to her that it was time for our mic work. She did not go quietly, but I could tell that her whole heart wasn't in the whine, and she was cracking a smile. We got right down to business. This was a difficult lesson, but she did such a great job! We went over that pesky "tion" ending, Me: Holds up card: "This is the word 'mention'. The 't-i-o-n' says 'shun'...." Georgia: Blank stare: "HUH?!" Me: "What part says 'men'?" Georgia: "m-e-n". Me: "What part says 'shun'?" Georgia: "s-h-u-n?!" Me: "No, sweetie, remember the 't-i-o-n' says 'shun'. Georgia: Looks at me like I'm insane. Me: Thinks: "Oh, yeah, this is the ever-confusing, always ridiculous English language!!" Honestly, who came up with these rules? I WAS impressed she could distinguish the sounds though, and spelled it like she HEARD IT. She did eventually catch on, after ten more words ending in "tion", and we kept our cool for the most part. The reading passage in this lesson was more challenging, and she was irritated that she had to spell so many words, but she gained a little more confidence once she read a bit from her chapter book. It's always nice when we can end a session on a positive note!

   Only two and a half more weeks of school until the Christmas break. I know because Georgia obsessively goes over this information with me every day. I'll do my best to keep on track with our Stowell work over the holiday, and Georgia will do her best to help me forget!


 

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Color my world

                     
   Is it possible to cough so hard that you pop a blood vessel? I think I'm about to find out. The empty Kleenex boxes are piling up like blubbery carcasses after a traditional Inuit seal hunt. To comfort, console and distract myself from this lingering cold, I'm blasting Christmas music from my Pandora "Bing Crosby Holiday" station. It's keeping me pretty distracted, seeing as how Pandora likes to toss completely obscure NON HOLIDAY songs into my very distinct HOLIDAY station. So I have to dive across the room and hit the "thumbs down" icon, effectively telling that song to "move along, you're not welcome here."


     No, it's not quite December yet, so it really shouldn't be legal to listen to Christmas tunes already. Too bad. I'm in the spirit despite my hacking cough! Brad, Emily and Georgia appear in the spirit, but Maggie is lagging a little behind this year. Not to worry, we'll infect her eventually! (with the Christmas spirit, not the stubborn cold) I'm actually pretty excited that Georgia is talking about needing to make her wish list. It's hard sometimes to guess what it is she REALLY wants. The standard gift for her, whether birthday or Christmas, seems to be multiple packs of Sharpies and reams upon reams of paper. Oh, also coloring books. Georgia ADORES coloring books. And she's got a pretty impressive coloring method. She has a thing for the color red. She goes through the pages accenting certain objects, or clothing pieces, with red first. Then she might go back through with blue, filling in other areas on each and every page. And again with the next color. Each page. One color at a time. Wash, rinse, repeat. She never just works on one page until it's complete. This fascinates me. It is a method which, in her mind, is totally logical. Here are two of her masterpieces. I *think*  they're done. (Right now she's working on the areas of a koala picture that she feels should be pink.)

     












                         

  I'm hoping that if Georgia does have coloring books on her list, we'll be able to track down at least one that she doesn't already own. It will be a challenge, but one that I'm sure we can take on! (and talk about affordable!) But what's on MY "Christmas wish list", you ask? Hmmmm....Peace on earth? Goodwill toward men? I'll settle for Peace in the Davis house, and a trip to Goodwill to see if I can find an aluminum Christmas tree!

                                                      (This here is my DREAM HOME!)
                                                     (And the dress. I want the dress too!)

Thursday, November 8, 2012

There will be a quiz on this later

  I  thought it would be a good time to give a refresher course on a few things related to this blog. Namely: why I do it. Get your pencils sharpened and poised to take notes, and - as always- I believe it's good to grab a snack before travelling into my Blogdom. (That's sort of like a kingdom, only it's the realm of my blog. Although I can't say I really rule it. It's more like a puppet monarchy.)

                                                               
   This blog started so that I could keep folks informed of the wild adventures my youngest daughter and I were encountering at the Stowell Learning Center in California. I took her there in order that she might be helped to overcome her many, varied, and unusual learning delays. But aside from her learning issues, Georgia is also somewhere on the autism spectrum. Her diagnosis is considered to be PDD-NOS, which is an acronym for Pervasive Developmental Disorder-Not Otherwise Specified. Sounds pretty vague, right? Here is a link to a great definition on the Autism Speaks site: http://www.autismspeaks.org/what-autism/pdd-nos  If you don't follow that link, and read the page, you will fail the quiz later. OK, not really. If you don't read it, at least read the following paragraph that I've lifted right from the site on a description of three subgroups of PDD-NOS:

    "More helpful, perhaps, are studies suggesting that persons with PDD-NOS can be placed in one of three very different subgroups:
• A high-functioning group (around 25 percent) whose symptoms largely overlap with that of Asperger syndrome, but who differ in terms of having a lag in language development and mild cognitive impairment. (Asperger syndrome does not generally involve speech delay or cognitive impairment).
• A second group (around 25 percent) whose symptoms more closely resemble those of autistic disorder, but do not fully meet all its diagnostic signs and symptoms.
• A third group (around 50 percent) who meet all the diagnostic criteria for autistic disorder, but whose stereotypical and repetitive behaviors are noticeably mild.
As these findings suggest, individuals with PDD-NOS vary widely in their strengths and challenges."

  Georgia most definitely falls into the first category. I will admit to daydreaming at times, imagining her without all of her learning issues, the language delay, and have decided that she would probably be considered an Aspie! That wouldn't be so bad, huh? I mean, if ya gotta be on the spectrum.....

.....and that leads me to report that I recently stumbled upon a terrific resource for families with loved ones on the spectrum! It's billed as "the official social network and resource guide for Autism Speaks". It's like Facebook, but just for ASD folks! It's called My Autism Team. Go check it out: http://www.myautismteam.com/  As I've perused the site, I've seen many people lament that their extended family members just do not "get" autism, or their child's weird behaviors. We've been pretty lucky  in that regard. It has taken some folks a bit longer to "get it", but most all of our family, and friends are understanding and incredibly supportive!


  So.Over the course of the last 10 months I've talked about the ups and downs Georgia and I (and really the whole family) have gone through with our Stowell work, and life with a special-needs kid in general. I've never been on a quest to cure my child of autism. In fact I regard any treatment, therapy, or program which claims a *cure* to be nothing more than a snake oil salesman. (With apologies to any snake oil salesmen in the audience!) I do believe that with certain therapies you can help lesson your child's more troubling (or troublesome) behaviors. This can help tremendously with their self esteem, and with easing tension at home and school. But they are always going to be autistic. Georgia will always be Georgia! But I DO hope to *cure* her of dyslexia, and help her language to evolve to a higher level. And to that end, we will keep plugging along with our Stowell programs, and I'll keep dragging you all along with us! One of these days - I promise - I will try to covertly video tape Georgia reading, and post it here. One of these days - I hope - she will let me candidly video tape her reading because she's just so dang proud of herself!





Tuesday, October 2, 2012

...Abby-something....Abby Normal!





   Our eldest daughter Emily, who will be twenty next week, read and wrote her first word at age two. ("HOT". I still have that slip of paper....somewhere!) She began reading in earnest at age four. So when we sent her off to an all-day preschool program at our little neighborhood Catholic school, we knew she would do just fine. One evening while waiting in the hallway with the other parents for our parent-teacher conference, we all mingled and admired the artwork and writings taped to the walls. The kids had all been instructed to write the same sentence about a school bus, and then do a drawing of a bus to accompany the writing. Their names were on the back of the papers, but I knew instantly which one was Emily's, because I knew her handwriting and drawing styles. One mother noticed that a particular little writer/artist was far advanced of the others, and she said "I wonder who did THIS one?", so she peeled back the corner to reveal Emily's name. Then she turned to look at me, with a rather accusing eye, and said "Oh, you must REALLY work with her, huh?" I said "Um, no. She's just.....like that". There were some other comments by a few more parents, mainly discussion about developmental levels, and by the time we were all walking into the classroom this mom glanced over to me and said, "Huh. Well, I'm just glad my kid's normal!"

  Now, I know you aren't supposed to hold on to negative things like that, but I have never forgotten her words, or the way she said them, or her face when she uttered them. I especially think about them when I'm worried over issues with Georgia, so you can imagine I've been hearing that phrase in my head ALOT lately. Most of you might say "Oh, but what really is 'normal' anyway? NOBODY is 'normal'!" And this may be true. And I am glad of it. But I like to think of "normal" as being zero on a number line (hahaha, look at me using a math analogy! *cough*), and zero is, well, BORING. So what if my kids are -50 and 45,46?! That just means they are infinitely more interesting than normal, boring, stuck-in-the-middle zero! So although there are definitely days when I am feeling low, and wishing that Georgia could be just like her sisters, I hear those words in my head and think "Nope. My kids are awesome just as they are." We are all individuals, and my three girls all learn in very individual ways. They are UNIQUE!



   And as it happens, we discovered at our IEP meeting this morning that there is a "track" we were not aware of which is an option for *unique* kids like Georgia who don't quite fit the mold of our modern educational system. We let the team know that getting her diploma was a secondary concern. It's more important that Georgia keep moving forward at a pace which allows her to build functional skills, to be confident, to enjoy school. And then we heard the words "Graduation Certificate". Magical words. This will essentially let us pick and choose which classes will benefit Georgia, and allow whatever accommodations we need for her. (yes, BUFFET STYLE) It is not a diploma track. No, she will not get any credit towards a High School diploma. But she will be able to "graduate" with her regular class, to walk across the stage, and that is something that will be important to her. When and if we think she is ready to get a GED, then we might pursue that course. In changing to the certificate program, she will be in regular classes, but with the work modified. Her teachers will help highlight only the things they feel she really needs. She will participate in a program that helps teach basic life skills! AND, she'll be part of a group who go to lunch together and eat with typical-functioning kids to model appropriate social interactions. We plan to present these changes to her tonight. Or, as Brad says "Now we gotta sell it to Georgia!" Her schedule will change (AHHH NOT CHANGE!), but it will be for the better.

  But maybe most importantly, our homework load will lighten considerably. Which means we will have time for our Stowell work in the afternoons!!! Georgia's IEP will have to be totally rewritten, so we will meet with the team again next week to finalize and sign all the papers. And even though legally they aren't supposed to implement the changes, everyone has agreed to proceed with her new schedule as if it were a done deal. The relief I feel cannot be measured.

  I'm climbing out of that tiny, dark metal box now, and MAN is it bright out here!



Monday, October 1, 2012

Tightrope Walking

  HOLY MACKEREL what a month. The school year is underway, and we are caught in an undertow. Well, maybe it's more kin to a rip current! The jump from Middle School to High School for a student such as Georgia is like trying to leap across the Grand Canyon. You might get a few feet out from the ledge, but then you plummet straight down like an overweight, drunk Wallenda on a dare. The work load is nearly insurmountable to Georgia, and we're barely keeping her together.





  Here in Baldwin County, in the Great State of Alabama, kids must choose one of several "diploma track options". Our High School offers an IB (International Baccalaureate) track, Honors track, A/P track, Standard track, (insert another track here, haven't found out what it's labeled), and Occupational track. What they advised us at our end-of-year IEP (Individualized Education Plan) meeting was to start on the Standard track, because "you can always move down a track, but you can't move up." Since our two older girls went IB, we had absolutely NO IDEA what the Standard track entailed. But we thought "Hey, she'll have her aide, and she'll be in inclusion classes, so how bad can things be?" Uh.....bad. I'm convinced that her IEP coordinator (who is also her Lit. teacher) didn't even glance at the report from Stowell. I'm beginning to wonder if she even really thoroughly read her IEP! The pace of these "inclusion" classes is so fast that it's no wonder the drop-out rate is so high. (34% in Baldwin County last time I checked) There doesn't seem to be any concern on the part of the teachers whether the kids are getting the information or not, they just keep moving on. I understand there are standards that have to be met, material that MUST be covered in a certain time frame. But MY KID can't keep up with that time frame, and I'm certain there are others who would be considered normally functioning kids who are getting lost in the shuffle.


  In addition to her high-stress, fast-paced school day, we are spending three or four hours a night on homework, and skipping our Stowell work because of it. (I handle work for Science, Lit & the "7 Habits of a Successful Student" classes. Brad tackles math.)This is NOT productive, nor is it beneficial to Georgia in any way. When we sit down to do homework I start to feel like I've been put into a very dark, very small, metal box where every time I try to yell "THIS ISN'T WORKING", all I get is my own voice echoing back on me. No one seems to hear me! Except Brad, 'cause the lid to my box is slightly ajar so that I can gulp some oxygen occasionally. We need to fix this, to slow the pace for her, extend the time frame, to be HEARD.



  So Brad and I began mulling over, discussing, hashing out ideas on how to slow things down so that Georgia has the time she needs to actually ABSORB and process all of this information being thrown at her. We agreed that continuing with our Stowell work is the most important thing. When Brad said "How important is it that she get her diploma in 4 years?", it was like an ephiphany. Oh, my goodness. What a radical, AWESOME thought! By law she could stay in school until the age of 21. I can't imagine letting her do that, but if we look at it that way it certainly buys her more time. While chatting with several of her former Resource teachers in the last few weeks, one of them suggested "Why can't she just take TWO classes per semester, instead of four? Or have her spread out something like Algebra over the whole year?" So if we determine that getting her diploma in 4 years (or at all) is not a priority, can't we just pick and choose her classes and work load? Sort of buffet-style education!



  Of course another road to follow would be homeschooling. I have to admit that when Brad and I started delving into that idea, I initially felt lost. Then when I imagined days of setting our own schedule, doing the Stowell work every day, going over a subject until Georgia "got it"...I felt so peaceful. THINK OF IT! Days of NOT STRESSING about getting homework in on time, of NOT cramming for a test on material you barely comprehend that you end up failing anyway. A very appealing thought indeed.

  We've finally gotten a meeting set up for tomorrow morning, so all of our concerns - and ideas on how to deal with them - can be discussed. If, for whatever reason, we can't *personalize* her plan more, and keep her in the public school system, then we'll be looking into what it will take to pull her out. Or...I don't want to say we may be looking for a lawyer....but....

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Not lacking in slacking

       Let me begin this posting by asking you to please conjure up all of the apologies and excuses that may have been used by countless bloggers across the millennia to rationalize why they were remiss in keeping up with their blog entries. Go ahead, I'll wait. You could try using one of  Julius Caesar's excuses. I'm sure he had some doozies. (And I'm betting he probably had pretty spotty internet connections while out invading Britain.)

   Phew! Thanks. Now let's get down to brass tacks. Georgia finished out her middle school career on a very good note. She won awards for Most Improved in Phys Ed, and Reading. We stayed dedicated to our Stowell work to the bitter end! And then summer began. And our slothdom began. I should have seen it coming, really. But I was blinded by high hopes of getting SO MUCH accomplished over the summer. Georgia was going to be utterly transformed before the start of high school! We *have* had a pretty good summer, though. Geo did a week or so of volunteering with the multiple disability summer camp,  we drove to Boston for cousin Elliot's high school graduation, and did some fun touristy things! Saw big sister Maggie off on her 10 day whirlwind trip to Japan, and enjoyed all the gifties she brought back. Georgia gets excited about things her big sisters do, like Emily getting her first job! We had old friends visit for the Glorious Fourth, swam in the river, watched fireworks. And Georgia's aide, Tracey, took her for a fun-filled day at Waterville with her youngest daughter and two other friends. So although I've struggled with terrible feelings of guilt over not whipping Georgia in to top academic form during this summer break, as the months have rolled on, I've come to terms with the fact that we JUST. NEEDED. A. REST.


   I looked back over all of my calendar pages, and lesson plans of programs that we'd worked at, and worked at, and worked at since January. And I felt better. No, Georgia didn't drop all of the weight she'd gained since stopping her meds. No, her speech is not perfect. No, she's not reading on a 9th grade level. BUT despite our lack of regular mic work and CLS this summer, she has not regressed. In fact, we sat down on the couch just to read, and she did a remarkable job. On her own she is starting to TRY to decode words before spelling them. And when it gets tough, instead of just moaning, or acting frustrated and angry at the sight of what seems to be a long, complicated word, she will calmly say "Whew, that one looks hard", and then she'll simply spell it for me, and I will give the word to her. Right now I have her reading out of 2 books at different reading levels. One is an easy 2.3 level, the other is tougher at 4.5. But she is DOING it. I have to judge what kind of a day she's having, and then decide which level might do her the most good. If she's in a good mood and things have been smooth, I'll have her read the harder book. If she needs a confidence booster, we go to the lower level book. Yesterday we sat down to do some mic work (we're on AST-Reading lesson 22), and she read the passage in the phrasing section. I was blown away at how smoothly it went! When she finished she was smiling ear-to-ear and remarked "I didn't even need you to give me hardly any words!" And it was true! She felt so good about herself. Consider the fact that she was testing on a pre-primer level back in January. Yeah. She's come quite a distance.


    School starts in just about a week and a half. Georgia seems excited about going to high school. We've had a few moments of uncertainty, a few meltdowns, but after she went through registration her emotions seemed to smooth out. We are BOTH looking forward to the routine that the regular school year affords. And she has informed me that once school starts in earnest we will have to get back to our Stowell work. She seems happy about that prospect!



    I pinky-promise that I will try to do a better job of reporting Georgia's progress in this blog. It's gonna be an interesting year!

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Pondering Pachyderms

 
    
   Not counting the thirteen days of Spring Break visitors, this has been kind of a ho-hum couple of weeks. Nothing spectacular happening on either end of Georgia's emotional spectrum. A few whiny outbursts, which were quickly quelled. A few ah-ha! moments, which seemed more the maquette in this process than finished monument. Progress? More like Slogress! Blah, blah, blah. I was doing some heavy sighing, and heavier doubting. Then a ponderous stroke of understanding wormed its way into my consciousness: We've been doing this Stowell work for 12 weeks now. In pregnancy terms that's 3 months of gestation. First trimester. A lot of serious work goes on in-utero during that time. Major roads paved on the path to personhood. But a huge amount of development still has to happen before that little person joins the rest of the world. This is how I've come to see our Stowell work. When you boil it right down, we're just in the first trimester. The very beginning. A TON of little developments are happening right now, which are just the building blocks for much greater things. Things that will happen down the road we're paving right now. Provided we don't get stuck in the fresh tar!

   I really do live for those *little* developments that seemingly just pop out of nowhere. It's the best feeling to see her figuring out words that I thought would totally stump her, and assumed she'd have to spell out.  I love that when I tell her "WOW. I thought you were going to need help with that word. Awesome job!", she absolutely beams! There's no pretentiousness. We are both truly pleased. Oh there are times, when she's in an irritable mood, that she might simply roll her eyes at me. But the eye-roll is usually accompanied by a shy smile, which tells me she really does appreciate the words of encouragement. This week she was able to read the words "drink", "mother's", "pounce" (that one was thrilling because she recognized the "ou" vowel combination and went from there!) and "hunters" without missing a beat. She also knew the word "powerful" because, as she said "I remembered that 'power' is in Power Rangers!". *Ah-hem*, I guess T.V. ain't all bad.
                                                                                                                                                          Another thrilling occurrence: Georgia was actually able to fairly easily maneuver the (dreaded) Starfish exercise without ANY fussing. Have I described The Starfish before? She perches on the edge of a chair and leans back, simultaneously spreading arms and legs out while dropping head over the back of the chair. Then she essentially pulls arms, legs, head back in and scrunches into a ball, with her right arm crossed over left, and right leg over left leg. She HATES this for the simple reason that she is not comfortable with dropping her head back. (it's that darn Morrow reflex!) In fact, she doesn't even want me to use the phrase "drop your head back". I have to say "relax your neck..." This week when we finished and she stood up, I said "Hey, you didn't squawk at all. And you did that so smoothly!" She smiled and said "I know, and I feel so calm!"  GASP! The Starfish made her feel CALM? Drop everything and....oh yeah, sorry....

   So All of these bits and pieces of progress just aid in our proverbial gestation, working to propel us forward. I know that after the appropriate amount of time Georgia will be ready to go out into the world. Of course, our gestational period may more closely resemble that of the pachyderm, but I'm fine with that. As long as we don't end up looking like crazy zoo animals!



Thursday, March 1, 2012

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times

    At times this week has seemed to slog and stick like so much caramel in my teeth. I hate caramel. One day would see Georgia happily cooperating (ironically, one of her vocabulary words  this week), and the next her feet firmly planted in cement. Oh, she does the work. But on the cement-planted-feet-days she would whine and fuss and growl through each session so that it seemed she wasn't getting any benefit from the work at all. After too many days of this uphill slogging, Mommy had a breakdown! We were pounding away at the AST Reading lesson where she has to repeat syllable pairs after me: "splash-clash", "batch-hatch", "snitch-snatch". She was so bent out of shape, and irritated about having to work, that she absolutely could not distinguish the different sounds. She devolved into further ickyness. Finally I threw my hands up, cut off the CD, unplugged the sound board and said "That's it. I'm done. I can't stand the whining and complaining one minute more! I cannot help you if you refuse to help too." Then I brought the hammer down. "No more screen-time for the rest of the day!!" I slammed out of the room, into my room, dove onto my bed like a pouty teenager, and thought "I. CAN. NOT. DO. THIS." Now, after the "no more screen-time" edict I fully expected to garner a complete ranting, raving lunatic-type rage. And I waited for it to begin. But it didn't. Something completely astounding happened instead. I heard Georgia talking (not raging) in her room for a few minutes, then she opened her door and called "Mommy?" I replied "In here." She came in calmly, and with a completely modulated voice said "I'd like to try again please." She climbed up on the bed and began to voice her frustrations in an almost hushed tone. She apologized. Finally after talking things out, I said "OK, I'll give it another try." Remarkably, she was able to not only breeze through each syllable pair, she could tell me what made one word vary from the other. "So, what letter changed to make "'clutch' say 'crutch'", her eyes flitted away for a minute and she said "Change the 'l' to a 'r'!" Wow. I even pushed it so far as to ask her what the vowels sounds were, and she could tell me! After we finished, we talked together about the difference it made from when she was irritated, to when she was calm. We determined that it was, in fact, better to remain calm.




     And so we had a really great afternoon session on another day, and were both remarking on it. I said "Yes! Isn't it so nice when things run smoothly and we don't have any drama? NO DRAMA! WATCH OUT FOR THE DRAMA LLAMA, IT'S SPITS!" Georgia was walking out of the room when I boomed this, but as she got into the kitchen I heard her start to giggle, and giggle, and then say to herself "Drama llama. It spits!" Then she started doing that hilarious hiccoughing, snorting giggle she does when she finds something particularly amusing. To see her gaining in maturity, self control, and growing in her sense of humor is quite something. My friend Judy recounted to me how she always made note when her kids were little of when they were particularly irritable, unmanageable or just plain pains-in-the-ass, because it usually meant that they were about to conquer another developmental milestone. I'm keeping that in mind with Georgia during all of these ups and downs, hoping the sticky caramel days mean she's morphing through into a higher developmental stage. Morphing into smooth rainbow sherbet days! I LIKE rainbow sherbet.















Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Transcendent reactions

Successful navigation out of near-total meltdown yesterday. Georgia was complaining bitterly about having to do CLS (Core Learning Skills training) a.k.a.: THE DREADED EXCERCISES! As I was trying to explain to her why these are so important, she just simply began to dissolve into a blubbering, anxiety-ridden mess. I got her to sit down and breathe. Then I reached across the table to hold her hands, (she let me!) and had her try to verbalize what was getting her so worked-up. Here is what was gleaned: Georgia is tired of "being dyslexia", (which is not entirely unlike "Being Jonn Malkovich" I imagine), and wishes she were "Just like Emily! Why can't I be like Emily. She not dyslexia!" She has also heard that there aren't aids or special classrooms for kids who struggle at the High School, and so is terrified of being unceremoniously dumped into a "regular" classroom with no support whatsoever next year. I told her that would not happen, that Daddy and I will meet with the school in the next few months, and work all of this out. She's worried that if I come up to work with her at the High School, people will notice, and she will be seen as "different". She cried, "WHY am I diff'rent? I'm TIRED of being diff'rent than everyone else!" Ugh. This just broke my heart. I wanted to say to her that one reason we're doing these programs with Stowell is so that she WILL seem less "different"....but I felt that was a terrible thing to voice. Georgia is such an interesting girl! She's got a great sense of humor! She's insightful! So I told her that all this is to help her feel more confident, and secure, so that maybe one day she CAN help herself in the classroom. "It's going to take a few more years, and you have to be patient. It's going to take A LOT more hard work, and you have to be willing. Can you be patient? Are you willing?" We shook on it. She wiped her tears, blew her nose, and got down to work with a smile.
                                                                           
Amazingly we are at the end of our Phonics Actives program. But even though we've gotten through all of the lessons this doesn't mean we can't, or shouldn't do them anymore. I fully intend to keep going over older lessons, but right now I think more energy can be spent on AST-Reading. It seems to be taking us a bit longer to make it through each step in this first lesson. Georgia is doing pretty well, and even though I worry over whether her speech will ever be totally smooth, or her reading on grade-level, I do think she's making progress. I just have to keep in mind the larger picture. We've only been at this a few months. In the words of the nineteenth century transcendentalist Robert Frost: "But I have promises to keep, and miles to go before I sleep, and miles to go before I sleep."Or maybe I should follow those immortal words spoken by the transcendent Dorie The Fish: "Just keep swimming! Just keep swimming! Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming!"


 Bob, meet Dorie......

Monday, February 13, 2012

Aw, nuts!

We've added yet another program, and I'm actually excited about it! AST-Reading. So now we'll be working on 3 AST (auditory stimulation and training) programs, rotating them out each day. Yes, EVERY DAY, MONDAY THROUGH SUNDAY.  


First of all, here is a good summary of what Auditory Stimulation is: http://www.wisegeek.com/what-is-auditory-stimulation.htm
This is what we refer to as our "Mic work". In the program that we follow with Stowell, Georgia listens to 1 of 2 "prescribed" Samonas CDs, depending on what work we are doing, and wears a mic so that she can hear herself speak. As I've mentioned before we are currently working on AST-Language and AST-Phonics Actives. I've briefly summarized in earlier posts what we do, but here's the broader view: (the REALLY broad view): (you might want to pause here to take a bathroom break, and get a snack):

AST-Language uses picture cards, and involves the instructor (Me! Surprise!) giving the student (Georgia! Woo!) words to describe each picture. There are 3 steps to each part. An example: one picture card has six photos of people doing various jobs. Part One: Nouns: Step One:: I name each person (Fireman, Builder, Workers, Policeman, Musician, Teacher), then Georgia repeats each after me. I name and point at random, until she can name them all clearly and with ease. Step Two: I say each person's "name", and she identifies by pointing to that picture and saying the name. Step Three: I point to a picture, and Georgia identifies by saying the name. Part Two: Adjective, Verb "to be":  as the header says, we're adding an adjective and forms of verb "to be". We run through all 3 steps like for part one. (Example: Smart builder.- The builder is smart.; Busy workers.- The workers are busy.) Part Three: Questions and Answers with the verb "to be" and adjective: is a question and answer exercise designed to further strengthen auditory memory, and work on articulation and flow: "Is the worker busy? Yes, the worker is busy". With the question and answer portion we break it up during one of the steps so that on one go-through Georgia asks the question, and I answer. Next I ask, and she answers. Part Four: Adjectives, action verbs, and objects: "The smart builder is studying plans." Again, we run through all three steps for this part until she is clear in her articulation and can remember the phrasing.
We've actually had a lot of fun with this one. It may sound a bit plodding, but we've been able to laugh when she gets tongue-tied, and make jokes along the way. While working on this at Stowell, one photo was supposed to be about two boys, but one of them clearly was a girl with a very short haircut. This was not overlooked by Georgia, and she had to correct it EVERY time she saw it.

AST-Phonics Actives begins by reviewing the vowel sounds she's learned up to that particular lesson. Then we go through 6 other steps using four columns of words.
So, Step One: Review all learned vowel sounds. Pretty much sums that up. Step Two: Listen and Repeat: I dictate syllables (words) in first column, one at a time. Georgia repeats, and points to and says  just the vowel sound. She uses the vowel chart for this. Step Three: Listen and Repeat Auditory Chain: I say the first two words (or syllables) in column two, Georgia repeats. Then I say the 2nd and 3rd, she repeats. Then I say the 3rd and 4th..... until we've gotten through every word. Example: "hurl; hail", "hail; mail", "mail; marl". The syllables create a chain in which only one sound is changed. This is REALLY difficult for Georgia. Step Four: Auditory Sound Blending: I say each sound in the given word, Georgia instantly blends the sounds to make the complete word. Totally auditory. This step has gotten much easier for her!  Step Five: Visual Spelling: I say a word. Georgia repeats the word and mentally pictures the spelling of the word. She then spells the word. SHE HATES THIS ONE. But, she has gotten so much better at it. It's amazing to see! Step Six: Mental Manipulation of Sounds: I orally spell a word. Georgia visualizes the letters to "read" the word. I then manipulate the word in one way, or another by changing a sound or letter. I then ask her to "read" or visually spell the new word. She also hates this step, but for someone who says she can't "picture" letters at all, she's gotten remarkably good at this! Step Seven: Syllable Reading: Georgia reads the vowel sound and then the whole syllable doing down a column. On alternate columns, she has to mentally notice the vowel sound but ORALLY read only the whole word. Again, she has made huge strides in this step!

The final portion of this learning trifecta:
  AST-Reading. The phonetic/language content emphasis of our first lesson is: sh, ch, tch. Step One: Listen and Repeat Syllable Discrimination: I say a syllable pair (ship-chip), Georgia repeats. We're looking for clear artic of ALL sounds. Step Two: Listen and Repeat Phrases: I say 2 phrases (chicks will hatch - chickens will hatch), Georgia repeats. Step Three: Contrasting Sentences: there are 6 pairs of sentences. (1st pair; The catcher was ready for the pitch. The catcher was not ready for the pitch.) I read each sentence with appropriate intonation and rhythm. Georgia repeats and taps each sentence....one tap per syllable. This is really working to build her memory as well. Step Four: Phrasing: consists of a four-sentence passage, split up in two columns. First column the passage is broken up at about 3-4 words per line. Georgia reads one line, then pauses before moving down to the next line. The second column is about 6-7 words per line. She is to pause at the end of each phrase, and pause longer at each comma and ending punctuation. Step Five: Visual Clusters for Decoding: We have word cards for this. I show the card ("This is the word 'ship'") and rapidly ask questions ("What letters say /sh/?" "What does the 'i-p' say?" "What does the 's-h' say?") to help her to see and identify logical visual clusters. (I do not point to them, she needs to see it as a whole). Step Six: Spell-Read: I use a book about on her reading level and she spells and then reads EACH WORD. If she doesn't recognize the word after spelling it, I just tell her and have her repeat. As the instruction says: "This helps her to notice all of the letters in a word and improves orientation and synchrony between what she is seeing and hearing when reading."
                                                                                                       

And that's it in a nutshell. Albeit, a very large and complicated nut. One that any squirrel with even the smallest amount of discernment should abandon. But not me. Well, for one thing: I'm not a squirrel. Yet I like to imagine that I might have a *bit* higher degree of perspicacity than your common ground squirrel. So I'll just continue trying to crack this nut until we get to that meaty center!

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Hormonal Hydra

Whoa. The weeks are just flying by. We've gotten into a good routine with our Stowell work schedule, and so I have taken a full day sub job for the 17th. Georgia is not happy about it since it means I won't be coming up to school to work with her in the morning. She's worried we won't be able to get everything done! I told her it's a Friday, so we can move things around a bit, and not to fret. But as Brad said "One thing about Georgia....even if she dislikes doing a lesson, she dislikes not doing it more." If you know Georgia you understand that she is a creature of habit, lover of sameness. So I'm trying not to disturb our new routine too much. Some details of her schedule do change from week-to-week, though. For instance, the first few weeks she listened to her Samonas CD for 15 minutes, twice a day. Last week Liz changed that protocol, moving us onto another CD, and 30 minutes of listening in the morning before Georgia gets out of bed. This was working out really well until Monday dawned this week, and Georgia spawned another head. And fangs. I was noticing that she appeared to be modulating her voice much better, and seemed calmer. But then -BAM - hello Hydra! She is 14, however, so I suppose hormones could be blamed. Oy vey!


It's times like this I have to try really, really, REALLY hard to remind myself that all of this hassle is for a greater good. As Teddy Roosevelt said: "Nothing worth having was ever achieved without effort." But he also said: "If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for all your trouble, you wouldn't sit for a month!" I think that pretty much sums up my frame of mind. So it helps when there are glimmers of positive steps forward. Like when Georgia will announce some bit of knowledge, or speak a thought in a complete phrase. It's even inspiring to me when she says something sarcastic, and understands what she's saying is funny. The other day we were driving to school and I was lecturing Maggie about God-knows-what. I said "Well, I hate to say I told you so..." and without missing a beat Georgia says in a deadpan voice "You already did." I even loved it when she proclaimed of our sleepy, fat, psycho kitty, (after he'd killed and dismembered a very large bird in the kitchen) "Oh, look at him! He looks so innocent of such a crime!" I heard a distinctive "S" at the end of "looks", and she meticulously pronounced "in-no-cent". Plus I just really enjoyed the entire phrasing she used, it made me chuckle!

I know that each week is likely to be different from the last. And that's not necessarily a bad thing. Especially if we can mark progress being made! But it would be nice to know ahead of time if I'll be packing a lunch for Hydra, or Harmonia.


Sunday, January 29, 2012

Nurse Ratched on the job!

I had a remarkable conversation last week at Lowe's Home Improvement with the young guy who came to help me figure out which lamp to buy to hang over Georgia's work desk. I explained the purpose of the lamp: that I am setting up a space to do work with my daughter, "she's got some struggles!". He nodded knowingly and said "Oh, yeah, I hear ya. My son and my nephew have some issues of their own!" That, of course, started me asking questions. Shocking, right? I'm like my mother in that I can strike up an in-depth conversation with pretty much anyone, anywhere. But, I'm also like my dad in that the oddest people seem to seek me out and talk to me. I have to do some quick assessments sometimes "Hmm, this could either turn out fun, or scary..." As it happens, my Lowe's assistant has two sons: a 6 year old in Kindergarten who is super-smart, on ADHD meds, but still struggling; and a 3 year old who is exhibiting anger for which they can find no reason. His nephew is 8, and severely autistic. He helps care for him several days a week. This guy looked SO young, but he is very obviously committed to doing right by his kids. I gave him some ideas of therapies and school programs to look into. When he described to me some of the odd behaviors his 6 year old was exhibiting on the meds, (hearing bees buzzing around his head!) it was my turn to nod knowingly. I told him Georgia had the same thing happen to her on Concerta. His eyes opened really wide, his jaw dropped, and he said almost breathlessly "I thought I was crazy! I thought my son was crazy! I've never had anyone else tell me that they had that same thing happen!" I felt like my head would explode with all of the information I wanted to impart! But it just wasn't the time or place. I was worried his boss would give him a hard time for talking with me for too long. I wondered about getting a resource packet together for him and bringing it back up to Lowe's. Maybe I will!

Our second week of Distance Learning went pretty well. Liz gave us another "step" to add: The AST Language portion. This involves using picture cards, and essentially talking or telling a story about each picture. It's covering a lot of ground: auditory processing, expressive and receptive language, visual organization, and sensory input. This is all done on the mic, along with a Samonas CD on headphones. Georgia has a really hard time blending certain sounds together. "S" is particularly difficult. She'll often leave off the beginning OR the end of a word with "S". When she was little it was kind of cute. She'd ask for a "nack" instead of "snack", that kind of thing. But at age 14, it's a bit of problem. It makes her sound so much younger, and people will glance sort of sideways at us with a look that says "What is *wrong* with that kid?" As we're going along in this lesson though, she's doing a lot more self-correction. With a prompt of "what's that *little* word we're looking for...?" ("is") She'll say "IZZZZZ!" She also just seems a lot more chatty, and personable, and not nearly as sensitive to sounds or touch. Progress. Slowly but surely.

I'm letting Geosie off the hook for mic work today, since she woke up with a stomach bug. You know, I try to be a compassionate mother. It's a little challenging for me though, since I grew up with a nurse mother and doctor father. If you weren't running a fever, didn't have any bones sticking out, and weren't having *obvious* convulsions, the standard response to illness was "Go to school! You'll feel better!" I've commiserated with other Adult Children of Medical Professionals, and they corroborate my story. I used to think school nurses must have some sort of mutated compassion gene, since they seem to exhibit a higher degree of benevolence toward sick children. But then, there is that pesky modern policy of not sending your kid to school until they've been fever and vomit-free for at least 24 hours. So maybe it's not so much a greater degree of empathy, just fear of the policy-makers that compels them to phone me when my child complains of a movable, mystery stomachache. In fact, I do remember the school nurses back in the day didn't readily call home. They tried to handle things first. They'd tell you to lie down on one of the cots with the crisp white sheets, and turn the lights low, then bustle out on their squeaky shoes to smoke a cigarette in the other room while you rested. Twenty minutes usually did the trick, (long enough to miss the quiz you forgot to study for) and then it was back to class. Ahhh, the good old days before smoking bans and the frenzied War On Bacteria! Still, I'll keep Miss G home tomorrow. If I pump her up with soup, I'm sure I can get at least *some* work out of her!

Sunday, January 22, 2012

Candy cigarettes and Xanax

After getting Georgia off to a good start back at school, and a new routine, she came down with nasty cold. I kept her home Thursday and Friday, but all was not a total loss. We were actually able to complete all of our lesson plans. It made me briefly consider just keeping her home for the remainder of the year, but I know she would miss school, and she desperately needs that socialization. And we'd also probably both go bonkers after a few weeks.

I'm getting more and more familiar with the lessons, and how to conduct them. We're now three weeks into this learning adventure, and if there's one thing I've gleaned from all of these lessons it's that the English language is a bitch! It's a wonder anyone learns to speak it or write it at all. Really! Right now we're trying to get Georgia to hear, and identify vowel combinations correctly: short and long vowel sounds & what they look like, and their variations: oe, ee, oo, o_e, i_e, aw, au, .... you get the picture. Well, I skipped ahead to see what was down the road for us, and found a laminated "AST-Reading Multisyllable Guidelines" chart. HOLY MACKEREL. So after I've got her to recognize one set of rules, I basically have to tell her "Now that you've finally got those pesky little devils down, TOSS THE BUGGERS OUT!"

On Friday I began feeling like "WOW, I think I may really be able to pull this off!". But then Georgia will start to give me some attitude, and I start to get frustrated. Things have not totally unraveled yet, though. I've managed to keep my cool. But I had to kind of let her have it this morning after a particularly annoying whine-fest. In a stern, but level-headed voice (and today "level-headed" is substituting for the word "demented"), I told her I am not here to torture her, and I understand she wants to be doing other things, but this is important work. Trust me, there are a million other things I could think of I'd rather be doing. Especially when it takes up weekend time. But under no circumstances am I letting up, giving in, or aiding and abetting her ESCAPE! (cue maniacal laugh) Bribes have been instituted, and she received her first on Friday. An M&M's Candy Fan. It got me to musing about inventing a candy chill pill and marketing it to stressed-out parents. Then my mind wandered to visions of the hate mail I'd find in my inbox from the anti-drug task-forcers. Yeah, they'd pound me for sure. I mean can you even FIND candy cigarettes anymore?! But really- who are we kidding..... the *best* parental "chill pill" is Xanax.