Transcendent reactions

Successful navigation out of near-total meltdown yesterday. Georgia was complaining bitterly about having to do CLS (Core Learning Skills training) a.k.a.: THE DREADED EXCERCISES! As I was trying to explain to her why these are so important, she just simply began to dissolve into a blubbering, anxiety-ridden mess. I got her to sit down and breathe. Then I reached across the table to hold her hands, (she let me!) and had her try to verbalize what was getting her so worked-up. Here is what was gleaned: Georgia is tired of "being dyslexia", (which is not entirely unlike "Being Jonn Malkovich" I imagine), and wishes she were "Just like Emily! Why can't I be like Emily. She not dyslexia!" She has also heard that there aren't aids or special classrooms for kids who struggle at the High School, and so is terrified of being unceremoniously dumped into a "regular" classroom with no support whatsoever next year. I told her that would not happen, that Daddy and I will meet with the school in the next few months, and work all of this out. She's worried that if I come up to work with her at the High School, people will notice, and she will be seen as "different". She cried, "WHY am I diff'rent? I'm TIRED of being diff'rent than everyone else!" Ugh. This just broke my heart. I wanted to say to her that one reason we're doing these programs with Stowell is so that she WILL seem less "different"....but I felt that was a terrible thing to voice. Georgia is such an interesting girl! She's got a great sense of humor! She's insightful! So I told her that all this is to help her feel more confident, and secure, so that maybe one day she CAN help herself in the classroom. "It's going to take a few more years, and you have to be patient. It's going to take A LOT more hard work, and you have to be willing. Can you be patient? Are you willing?" We shook on it. She wiped her tears, blew her nose, and got down to work with a smile.

                                                                           
Amazingly we are at the end of our Phonics Actives program. But even though we've gotten through all of the lessons this doesn't mean we can't, or shouldn't do them anymore. I fully intend to keep going over older lessons, but right now I think more energy can be spent on AST-Reading. It seems to be taking us a bit longer to make it through each step in this first lesson. Georgia is doing pretty well, and even though I worry over whether her speech will ever be totally smooth, or her reading on grade-level, I do think she's making progress. I just have to keep in mind the larger picture. We've only been at this a few months. In the words of the nineteenth century transcendentalist Robert Frost: "But I have promises to keep, and miles to go before I sleep, and miles to go before I sleep."Or maybe I should follow those immortal words spoken by the transcendent Dorie The Fish: "Just keep swimming! Just keep swimming! Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming!"


 Bob, meet Dorie......

Aw, nuts!

We've added yet another program, and I'm actually excited about it! AST-Reading. So now we'll be working on 3 AST (auditory stimulation and training) programs, rotating them out each day. Yes, EVERY DAY, MONDAY THROUGH SUNDAY.  

First of all, here is a good summary of what Auditory Stimulation is: http://www.wisegeek.com/what-is-auditory-stimulation.htm
This is what we refer to as our "Mic work". In the program that we follow with Stowell, Georgia listens to 1 of 2 "prescribed" Samonas CDs, depending on what work we are doing, and wears a mic so that she can hear herself speak. As I've mentioned before we are currently working on AST-Language and AST-Phonics Actives. I've briefly summarized in earlier posts what we do, but here's the broader view: (the REALLY broad view): (you might want to pause here to take a bathroom break, and get a snack):

AST-Language uses picture cards, and involves the instructor (Me! Surprise!) giving the student (Georgia! Woo!) words to describe each picture. There are 3 steps to each part. An example: one picture card has six photos of people doing various jobs. Part One: Nouns: Step One:: I name each person (Fireman, Builder, Workers, Policeman, Musician, Teacher), then Georgia repeats each after me. I name and point at random, until she can name them all clearly and with ease. Step Two: I say each person's "name", and she identifies by pointing to that picture and saying the name. Step Three: I point to a picture, and Georgia identifies by saying the name. Part Two: Adjective, Verb "to be":  as the header says, we're adding an adjective and forms of verb "to be". We run through all 3 steps like for part one. (Example: Smart builder.- The builder is smart.; Busy workers.- The workers are busy.) Part Three: Questions and Answers with the verb "to be" and adjective: is a question and answer exercise designed to further strengthen auditory memory, and work on articulation and flow: "Is the worker busy? Yes, the worker is busy". With the question and answer portion we break it up during one of the steps so that on one go-through Georgia asks the question, and I answer. Next I ask, and she answers. Part Four: Adjectives, action verbs, and objects: "The smart builder is studying plans." Again, we run through all three steps for this part until she is clear in her articulation and can remember the phrasing.
We've actually had a lot of fun with this one. It may sound a bit plodding, but we've been able to laugh when she gets tongue-tied, and make jokes along the way. While working on this at Stowell, one photo was supposed to be about two boys, but one of them clearly was a girl with a very short haircut. This was not overlooked by Georgia, and she had to correct it EVERY time she saw it.

AST-Phonics Actives begins by reviewing the vowel sounds she's learned up to that particular lesson. Then we go through 6 other steps using four columns of words.
So, Step One: Review all learned vowel sounds. Pretty much sums that up. Step Two: Listen and Repeat: I dictate syllables (words) in first column, one at a time. Georgia repeats, and points to and says  just the vowel sound. She uses the vowel chart for this. Step Three: Listen and Repeat Auditory Chain: I say the first two words (or syllables) in column two, Georgia repeats. Then I say the 2nd and 3rd, she repeats. Then I say the 3rd and 4th..... until we've gotten through every word. Example: "hurl; hail", "hail; mail", "mail; marl". The syllables create a chain in which only one sound is changed. This is REALLY difficult for Georgia. Step Four: Auditory Sound Blending: I say each sound in the given word, Georgia instantly blends the sounds to make the complete word. Totally auditory. This step has gotten much easier for her!  Step Five: Visual Spelling: I say a word. Georgia repeats the word and mentally pictures the spelling of the word. She then spells the word. SHE HATES THIS ONE. But, she has gotten so much better at it. It's amazing to see! Step Six: Mental Manipulation of Sounds: I orally spell a word. Georgia visualizes the letters to "read" the word. I then manipulate the word in one way, or another by changing a sound or letter. I then ask her to "read" or visually spell the new word. She also hates this step, but for someone who says she can't "picture" letters at all, she's gotten remarkably good at this! Step Seven: Syllable Reading: Georgia reads the vowel sound and then the whole syllable doing down a column. On alternate columns, she has to mentally notice the vowel sound but ORALLY read only the whole word. Again, she has made huge strides in this step!

The final portion of this learning trifecta:
  AST-Reading. The phonetic/language content emphasis of our first lesson is: sh, ch, tch. Step One: Listen and Repeat Syllable Discrimination: I say a syllable pair (ship-chip), Georgia repeats. We're looking for clear artic of ALL sounds. Step Two: Listen and Repeat Phrases: I say 2 phrases (chicks will hatch - chickens will hatch), Georgia repeats. Step Three: Contrasting Sentences: there are 6 pairs of sentences. (1st pair; The catcher was ready for the pitch. The catcher was not ready for the pitch.) I read each sentence with appropriate intonation and rhythm. Georgia repeats and taps each sentence....one tap per syllable. This is really working to build her memory as well. Step Four: Phrasing: consists of a four-sentence passage, split up in two columns. First column the passage is broken up at about 3-4 words per line. Georgia reads one line, then pauses before moving down to the next line. The second column is about 6-7 words per line. She is to pause at the end of each phrase, and pause longer at each comma and ending punctuation. Step Five: Visual Clusters for Decoding: We have word cards for this. I show the card ("This is the word 'ship'") and rapidly ask questions ("What letters say /sh/?" "What does the 'i-p' say?" "What does the 's-h' say?") to help her to see and identify logical visual clusters. (I do not point to them, she needs to see it as a whole). Step Six: Spell-Read: I use a book about on her reading level and she spells and then reads EACH WORD. If she doesn't recognize the word after spelling it, I just tell her and have her repeat. As the instruction says: "This helps her to notice all of the letters in a word and improves orientation and synchrony between what she is seeing and hearing when reading."
                                                                                                       

And that's it in a nutshell. Albeit, a very large and complicated nut. One that any squirrel with even the smallest amount of discernment should abandon. But not me. Well, for one thing: I'm not a squirrel. Yet I like to imagine that I might have a *bit* higher degree of perspicacity than your common ground squirrel. So I'll just continue trying to crack this nut until we get to that meaty center!

Hormonal Hydra

Whoa. The weeks are just flying by. We've gotten into a good routine with our Stowell work schedule, and so I have taken a full day sub job for the 17th. Georgia is not happy about it since it means I won't be coming up to school to work with her in the morning. She's worried we won't be able to get everything done! I told her it's a Friday, so we can move things around a bit, and not to fret. But as Brad said "One thing about Georgia....even if she dislikes doing a lesson, she dislikes not doing it more." If you know Georgia you understand that she is a creature of habit, lover of sameness. So I'm trying not to disturb our new routine too much. Some details of her schedule do change from week-to-week, though. For instance, the first few weeks she listened to her Samonas CD for 15 minutes, twice a day. Last week Liz changed that protocol, moving us onto another CD, and 30 minutes of listening in the morning before Georgia gets out of bed. This was working out really well until Monday dawned this week, and Georgia spawned another head. And fangs. I was noticing that she appeared to be modulating her voice much better, and seemed calmer. But then -BAM - hello Hydra! She is 14, however, so I suppose hormones could be blamed. Oy vey!

It's times like this I have to try really, really, REALLY hard to remind myself that all of this hassle is for a greater good. As Teddy Roosevelt said: "Nothing worth having was ever achieved without effort." But he also said: "If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for all your trouble, you wouldn't sit for a month!" I think that pretty much sums up my frame of mind. So it helps when there are glimmers of positive steps forward. Like when Georgia will announce some bit of knowledge, or speak a thought in a complete phrase. It's even inspiring to me when she says something sarcastic, and understands what she's saying is funny. The other day we were driving to school and I was lecturing Maggie about God-knows-what. I said "Well, I hate to say I told you so..." and without missing a beat Georgia says in a deadpan voice "You already did." I even loved it when she proclaimed of our sleepy, fat, psycho kitty, (after he'd killed and dismembered a very large bird in the kitchen) "Oh, look at him! He looks so innocent of such a crime!" I heard a distinctive "S" at the end of "looks", and she meticulously pronounced "in-no-cent". Plus I just really enjoyed the entire phrasing she used, it made me chuckle!

I know that each week is likely to be different from the last. And that's not necessarily a bad thing. Especially if we can mark progress being made! But it would be nice to know ahead of time if I'll be packing a lunch for Hydra, or Harmonia.

Nurse Ratched on the job!

I had a remarkable conversation last week at Lowe's Home Improvement with the young guy who came to help me figure out which lamp to buy to hang over Georgia's work desk. I explained the purpose of the lamp: that I am setting up a space to do work with my daughter, "she's got some struggles!". He nodded knowingly and said "Oh, yeah, I hear ya. My son and my nephew have some issues of their own!" That, of course, started me asking questions. Shocking, right? I'm like my mother in that I can strike up an in-depth conversation with pretty much anyone, anywhere. But, I'm also like my dad in that the oddest people seem to seek me out and talk to me. I have to do some quick assessments sometimes "Hmm, this could either turn out fun, or scary..." As it happens, my Lowe's assistant has two sons: a 6 year old in Kindergarten who is super-smart, on ADHD meds, but still struggling; and a 3 year old who is exhibiting anger for which they can find no reason. His nephew is 8, and severely autistic. He helps care for him several days a week. This guy looked SO young, but he is very obviously committed to doing right by his kids. I gave him some ideas of therapies and school programs to look into. When he described to me some of the odd behaviors his 6 year old was exhibiting on the meds, (hearing bees buzzing around his head!) it was my turn to nod knowingly. I told him Georgia had the same thing happen to her on Concerta. His eyes opened really wide, his jaw dropped, and he said almost breathlessly "I thought I was crazy! I thought my son was crazy! I've never had anyone else tell me that they had that same thing happen!" I felt like my head would explode with all of the information I wanted to impart! But it just wasn't the time or place. I was worried his boss would give him a hard time for talking with me for too long. I wondered about getting a resource packet together for him and bringing it back up to Lowe's. Maybe I will!

Our second week of Distance Learning went pretty well. Liz gave us another "step" to add: The AST Language portion. This involves using picture cards, and essentially talking or telling a story about each picture. It's covering a lot of ground: auditory processing, expressive and receptive language, visual organization, and sensory input. This is all done on the mic, along with a Samonas CD on headphones. Georgia has a really hard time blending certain sounds together. "S" is particularly difficult. She'll often leave off the beginning OR the end of a word with "S". When she was little it was kind of cute. She'd ask for a "nack" instead of "snack", that kind of thing. But at age 14, it's a bit of problem. It makes her sound so much younger, and people will glance sort of sideways at us with a look that says "What is *wrong* with that kid?" As we're going along in this lesson though, she's doing a lot more self-correction. With a prompt of "what's that *little* word we're looking for...?" ("is") She'll say "IZZZZZ!" She also just seems a lot more chatty, and personable, and not nearly as sensitive to sounds or touch. Progress. Slowly but surely.

I'm letting Geosie off the hook for mic work today, since she woke up with a stomach bug. You know, I try to be a compassionate mother. It's a little challenging for me though, since I grew up with a nurse mother and doctor father. If you weren't running a fever, didn't have any bones sticking out, and weren't having *obvious* convulsions, the standard response to illness was "Go to school! You'll feel better!" I've commiserated with other Adult Children of Medical Professionals, and they corroborate my story. I used to think school nurses must have some sort of mutated compassion gene, since they seem to exhibit a higher degree of benevolence toward sick children. But then, there is that pesky modern policy of not sending your kid to school until they've been fever and vomit-free for at least 24 hours. So maybe it's not so much a greater degree of empathy, just fear of the policy-makers that compels them to phone me when my child complains of a movable, mystery stomachache. In fact, I do remember the school nurses back in the day didn't readily call home. They tried to handle things first. They'd tell you to lie down on one of the cots with the crisp white sheets, and turn the lights low, then bustle out on their squeaky shoes to smoke a cigarette in the other room while you rested. Twenty minutes usually did the trick, (long enough to miss the quiz you forgot to study for) and then it was back to class. Ahhh, the good old days before smoking bans and the frenzied War On Bacteria! Still, I'll keep Miss G home tomorrow. If I pump her up with soup, I'm sure I can get at least *some* work out of her!

Candy cigarettes and Xanax

After getting Georgia off to a good start back at school, and a new routine, she came down with nasty cold. I kept her home Thursday and Friday, but all was not a total loss. We were actually able to complete all of our lesson plans. It made me briefly consider just keeping her home for the remainder of the year, but I know she would miss school, and she desperately needs that socialization. And we'd also probably both go bonkers after a few weeks.

I'm getting more and more familiar with the lessons, and how to conduct them. We're now three weeks into this learning adventure, and if there's one thing I've gleaned from all of these lessons it's that the English language is a bitch! It's a wonder anyone learns to speak it or write it at all. Really! Right now we're trying to get Georgia to hear, and identify vowel combinations correctly: short and long vowel sounds & what they look like, and their variations: oe, ee, oo, o_e, i_e, aw, au, .... you get the picture. Well, I skipped ahead to see what was down the road for us, and found a laminated "AST-Reading Multisyllable Guidelines" chart. HOLY MACKEREL. So after I've got her to recognize one set of rules, I basically have to tell her "Now that you've finally got those pesky little devils down, TOSS THE BUGGERS OUT!"

On Friday I began feeling like "WOW, I think I may really be able to pull this off!". But then Georgia will start to give me some attitude, and I start to get frustrated. Things have not totally unraveled yet, though. I've managed to keep my cool. But I had to kind of let her have it this morning after a particularly annoying whine-fest. In a stern, but level-headed voice (and today "level-headed" is substituting for the word "demented"), I told her I am not here to torture her, and I understand she wants to be doing other things, but this is important work. Trust me, there are a million other things I could think of I'd rather be doing. Especially when it takes up weekend time. But under no circumstances am I letting up, giving in, or aiding and abetting her ESCAPE! (cue maniacal laugh) Bribes have been instituted, and she received her first on Friday. An M&M's Candy Fan. It got me to musing about inventing a candy chill pill and marketing it to stressed-out parents. Then my mind wandered to visions of the hate mail I'd find in my inbox from the anti-drug task-forcers. Yeah, they'd pound me for sure. I mean can you even FIND candy cigarettes anymore?! But really- who are we kidding..... the *best* parental "chill pill" is Xanax.

Cakes of Llama crowd!

First day back at school = success! I had one happy girl get in the car yesterday afternoon. There were a few bumps in the day, but overall I consider it moving in the right direction. Went in for a quick meeting with Kelly, Georgia's IEP coordinator. Geo and her aide came in and joined us. It was actually good that she was there, so  Kelly could kind of back me up, and let Geo know that Mom isn't the only one who is counting on her to cooperate with all of these programs. She basically told her "I KNOW you like to have your nice, neat, set schedule. But you knew when you came back that the schedule would change so that you can fit these programs in. So do like Rafiki says in Lion King and put it in the past! It's time to move on!" Georgia thought it was pretty funny when Kelly said she'd go get a big stick if she had to, and bonk her on the nose like Simba. We worked out that I'll go up to school during her study hall hour and work on PATH reading and AST stuff. Might even be able to fit in some of the Core work.

I was reading through the instruction booklet for Samonas sound therapy, and read that over the course of this 20 week program the student should really be on a "sound diet". Not a "sound diet" as in a "good, solid diet of healthy food", but taking a break from too much extraneous NOISE. This is a difficult area for us, since Georgia is a computer and t.v. addict. And our house always seems to be "on". I thought she did well today without too much fussing when I told her we were limiting her viewing/listening time. Weekends will be harder to deal with, so we'll have to figure out how to get her out of the house. Maybe tossing her iPad into the yard and locking the door.

We've been noticing small, but nice changes with Georgia. Like tonight when we all lumped on the couches and turned on the American Idol auditions. (A guilty pleasure. Sue me. We don't like the *actual* show, just the audition part!) Our family loves (and I mean  LOVES) to play with words and their meanings. This can sometimes be a great aggravation to Georgia, as you can imagine. Per our family M.O. we proceeded to mock commercials, accents of Idol contestants, and each other. We find great satisfaction in "mis-hearing" what is being said, twisting it, and making it into something else entirely. OK, maybe I find more satisfaction than anyone else. One of my all-time favorite language morphing exercises: Maggie was stranded in the bathroom without a toilet paper refill. She shouted out to me in the kitchen "MOOOOM-MEEEE! I'M OUT OF TOILET PAPERRRRRR!" To which I replied: "WHAAAAT? YOU'RE STUCK IN THE ELEVATOR??!!" It went on like this, with me shouting back various ludicrous possibilities of what she might actually be saying. She was not amused. *I* thought it was hilarious. This is what we were doing to some of the t.v. ads tonight, and Georgia totally got it! She laughed! And a few times she repeated it to herself. After one doozie, where she did a short chuckle, I asked her "Do you get that?" And she grinned and said "Yes." and explained WHY it was a funny play on words. *sigh* Makes a Mamma proud. WHAAAAAT?? Cakes of Llama crowd?!

The smeller is the feller!

We are finally back home! It was an adventurous day of travelling. As we scanned our boarding passes, and headed down the ramp for our flight from Chino to Dallas, I was hailed back by the Keepers of The Gate to place my bag in the "overhead luggage simulator" to see if it would fit on the plane. I guess I didn't do as good a job packing this time (sorry, Ma!) because they said it appeared "too thick". As I lifted and shoved, it just made a sickening "thunk" sound and was stopped by that maddening metal frame. After trying and failing to rearrange things to make my bag skinnier, I finally threw up my hands and said "FINE, check it!". This upset Georgia greatly. She just didn't understand HOW they would get my bag back to me in Biloxi. It really did make things easier, though, not having to manhandle my bag AND Georgia's down those impossibly narrow aisles. It was bad enough that she kept whapping people in the head with her backpack as she ambled along. I'm pretty sure I made apologies to every person in a "B" seat from rows 1-20. There were a few I really should send "get well" notes to.

We eventually made it to our seats- almost all the way at the back of the plane. I reached up and tried to move the air nozzle toward the aisle, but the thing wouldn't budge. It stayed shooting directly at the top of my head, like Chinese water torture, the rest of the flight. Sitting in the back near the bathrooms on an airplane isn't really an ideal location. Especially when flying with someone who is so sensitive to smells. And also doesn't have a good grasp on social conventions. Like knowing not to say aloud what everyone else in a room is vigorously trying to ignore. After we'd all been served drinks, there was a constant stream of people heading to the toilets. One dapper gentleman was cuttin' one loose all the way down the aisle, and as the smell wafted over to Georgia she said (and by "said" I mean "yelled"...voice modulation and all that) "P.U. MOMMY! DID YOU FART?!?" I gave her the violent head-shake-while-scowling look that says (or should say) "BE QUIET! GOODLORDICAN'TBELIEVEYOUSAIDTHATOUT-LOUD!" Too late. It was out there.

On our second flight from Dallas to Gulfport-Biloxi our seats were to be one behind the other, but the young gal in Georgia's row graciously offered to switch with me when she saw the situation. (SO sweet!) Georgia was very relieved! We stowed our stuff. I reached up to adjust the air nozzle. Just the briefest of wrestling matches with *that* one. It relented- but at the expense of my thumbnail. The captain turned on the "fasten seat belt" and "no smoking" signs, so I tapped Georgia on the arm, pointed upward and said "Look, Georgia, you've GOT to put out that cigarette now!" She laughed SO hard. It was very gratifying.(Yeah, I'm really liking the Un-medicated Georgia a lot!) Ever the rule-follower, Geo snapped to attention when our flight attendant came on to give the safety spiel. She dutifully got her Safety Instruction booklet out of the chair pocket in front of her, and followed along as best she could, thoroughly studying the illustrations.

It was just such a wonderful sight to see Brad, Emily and Maggie waiting for us at the end of the day! Geo ran and hugged both of her sisters right away. Something that she normally would not do. She was all smiles and giggles. The ride home was really fun. It amazed me to hear her actually participating in the conversations. Things kind of fell apart at bedtime, though. I guess it was to be expected after an incredibly long day. She was really resistant to doing her Samonas listening, but after some struggle she finally caved and did it. The phrase "Oh, God, what have I gotten myself into?!?!" has attempted to creep to the edge of my pool of consciousness and dive in - but I keep telling it to "GET BACK!". We'll get started on our "new" schedule tomorrow. Wish me luck!