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Tuesday, October 2, 2012

...Abby-something....Abby Normal!





   Our eldest daughter Emily, who will be twenty next week, read and wrote her first word at age two. ("HOT". I still have that slip of paper....somewhere!) She began reading in earnest at age four. So when we sent her off to an all-day preschool program at our little neighborhood Catholic school, we knew she would do just fine. One evening while waiting in the hallway with the other parents for our parent-teacher conference, we all mingled and admired the artwork and writings taped to the walls. The kids had all been instructed to write the same sentence about a school bus, and then do a drawing of a bus to accompany the writing. Their names were on the back of the papers, but I knew instantly which one was Emily's, because I knew her handwriting and drawing styles. One mother noticed that a particular little writer/artist was far advanced of the others, and she said "I wonder who did THIS one?", so she peeled back the corner to reveal Emily's name. Then she turned to look at me, with a rather accusing eye, and said "Oh, you must REALLY work with her, huh?" I said "Um, no. She's just.....like that". There were some other comments by a few more parents, mainly discussion about developmental levels, and by the time we were all walking into the classroom this mom glanced over to me and said, "Huh. Well, I'm just glad my kid's normal!"

  Now, I know you aren't supposed to hold on to negative things like that, but I have never forgotten her words, or the way she said them, or her face when she uttered them. I especially think about them when I'm worried over issues with Georgia, so you can imagine I've been hearing that phrase in my head ALOT lately. Most of you might say "Oh, but what really is 'normal' anyway? NOBODY is 'normal'!" And this may be true. And I am glad of it. But I like to think of "normal" as being zero on a number line (hahaha, look at me using a math analogy! *cough*), and zero is, well, BORING. So what if my kids are -50 and 45,46?! That just means they are infinitely more interesting than normal, boring, stuck-in-the-middle zero! So although there are definitely days when I am feeling low, and wishing that Georgia could be just like her sisters, I hear those words in my head and think "Nope. My kids are awesome just as they are." We are all individuals, and my three girls all learn in very individual ways. They are UNIQUE!



   And as it happens, we discovered at our IEP meeting this morning that there is a "track" we were not aware of which is an option for *unique* kids like Georgia who don't quite fit the mold of our modern educational system. We let the team know that getting her diploma was a secondary concern. It's more important that Georgia keep moving forward at a pace which allows her to build functional skills, to be confident, to enjoy school. And then we heard the words "Graduation Certificate". Magical words. This will essentially let us pick and choose which classes will benefit Georgia, and allow whatever accommodations we need for her. (yes, BUFFET STYLE) It is not a diploma track. No, she will not get any credit towards a High School diploma. But she will be able to "graduate" with her regular class, to walk across the stage, and that is something that will be important to her. When and if we think she is ready to get a GED, then we might pursue that course. In changing to the certificate program, she will be in regular classes, but with the work modified. Her teachers will help highlight only the things they feel she really needs. She will participate in a program that helps teach basic life skills! AND, she'll be part of a group who go to lunch together and eat with typical-functioning kids to model appropriate social interactions. We plan to present these changes to her tonight. Or, as Brad says "Now we gotta sell it to Georgia!" Her schedule will change (AHHH NOT CHANGE!), but it will be for the better.

  But maybe most importantly, our homework load will lighten considerably. Which means we will have time for our Stowell work in the afternoons!!! Georgia's IEP will have to be totally rewritten, so we will meet with the team again next week to finalize and sign all the papers. And even though legally they aren't supposed to implement the changes, everyone has agreed to proceed with her new schedule as if it were a done deal. The relief I feel cannot be measured.

  I'm climbing out of that tiny, dark metal box now, and MAN is it bright out here!



Monday, October 1, 2012

Tightrope Walking

  HOLY MACKEREL what a month. The school year is underway, and we are caught in an undertow. Well, maybe it's more kin to a rip current! The jump from Middle School to High School for a student such as Georgia is like trying to leap across the Grand Canyon. You might get a few feet out from the ledge, but then you plummet straight down like an overweight, drunk Wallenda on a dare. The work load is nearly insurmountable to Georgia, and we're barely keeping her together.





  Here in Baldwin County, in the Great State of Alabama, kids must choose one of several "diploma track options". Our High School offers an IB (International Baccalaureate) track, Honors track, A/P track, Standard track, (insert another track here, haven't found out what it's labeled), and Occupational track. What they advised us at our end-of-year IEP (Individualized Education Plan) meeting was to start on the Standard track, because "you can always move down a track, but you can't move up." Since our two older girls went IB, we had absolutely NO IDEA what the Standard track entailed. But we thought "Hey, she'll have her aide, and she'll be in inclusion classes, so how bad can things be?" Uh.....bad. I'm convinced that her IEP coordinator (who is also her Lit. teacher) didn't even glance at the report from Stowell. I'm beginning to wonder if she even really thoroughly read her IEP! The pace of these "inclusion" classes is so fast that it's no wonder the drop-out rate is so high. (34% in Baldwin County last time I checked) There doesn't seem to be any concern on the part of the teachers whether the kids are getting the information or not, they just keep moving on. I understand there are standards that have to be met, material that MUST be covered in a certain time frame. But MY KID can't keep up with that time frame, and I'm certain there are others who would be considered normally functioning kids who are getting lost in the shuffle.


  In addition to her high-stress, fast-paced school day, we are spending three or four hours a night on homework, and skipping our Stowell work because of it. (I handle work for Science, Lit & the "7 Habits of a Successful Student" classes. Brad tackles math.)This is NOT productive, nor is it beneficial to Georgia in any way. When we sit down to do homework I start to feel like I've been put into a very dark, very small, metal box where every time I try to yell "THIS ISN'T WORKING", all I get is my own voice echoing back on me. No one seems to hear me! Except Brad, 'cause the lid to my box is slightly ajar so that I can gulp some oxygen occasionally. We need to fix this, to slow the pace for her, extend the time frame, to be HEARD.



  So Brad and I began mulling over, discussing, hashing out ideas on how to slow things down so that Georgia has the time she needs to actually ABSORB and process all of this information being thrown at her. We agreed that continuing with our Stowell work is the most important thing. When Brad said "How important is it that she get her diploma in 4 years?", it was like an ephiphany. Oh, my goodness. What a radical, AWESOME thought! By law she could stay in school until the age of 21. I can't imagine letting her do that, but if we look at it that way it certainly buys her more time. While chatting with several of her former Resource teachers in the last few weeks, one of them suggested "Why can't she just take TWO classes per semester, instead of four? Or have her spread out something like Algebra over the whole year?" So if we determine that getting her diploma in 4 years (or at all) is not a priority, can't we just pick and choose her classes and work load? Sort of buffet-style education!



  Of course another road to follow would be homeschooling. I have to admit that when Brad and I started delving into that idea, I initially felt lost. Then when I imagined days of setting our own schedule, doing the Stowell work every day, going over a subject until Georgia "got it"...I felt so peaceful. THINK OF IT! Days of NOT STRESSING about getting homework in on time, of NOT cramming for a test on material you barely comprehend that you end up failing anyway. A very appealing thought indeed.

  We've finally gotten a meeting set up for tomorrow morning, so all of our concerns - and ideas on how to deal with them - can be discussed. If, for whatever reason, we can't *personalize* her plan more, and keep her in the public school system, then we'll be looking into what it will take to pull her out. Or...I don't want to say we may be looking for a lawyer....but....